Rating: 1 out of 5.

Hey horror fanatics, it’s Slick Dungeon here. I’m back to review the third and final movie about a group of teenagers who commit a crime and get a spooky note about it a year later and are stalked by someone with a fish hook. Fair warning there will be spoilers for I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer below. So, if you want to watch it first put on your rain slicker, grab your hook, get some popcorn and see the rehash of an attempt at a movie this is and come on back here.

Let’s start with the title on this one. I usually don’t have a lot to say about a film title but this one is uniquely annoying. I Know What You Did Last Summer made sense because the killer in the film witnessed an event the summer before. I Still Know What You Did Last Summer made less sense because it was about something that happened two summers ago so it really should have been called I Still Know What You Did Two Summers Ago. But I let that one slide because it sort of made sense considering it’s at least about the same characters. I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer is completely off base for a ton of reasons, not the least of which is this is a sort of attempt at a reboot and stars a total of none of the original cast. Who exactly is knowing what here and why should we care? If they do ever make a follow up to this, I suggest the title, I Will Always and Forever Know Exactly What You Did Last Summer Because I Wrote it Down on a Post-it Note and Stuck it on My Freezer Door Where I Look at it Every Time I Want to Eat a Popsicle.

I didn’t think the premise in the original movie was the greatest but I was willing to go along with it because it made some sense. A group of kids does a bad thing, although on accident, and now there is a killer coming after them.

This movie just makes no sense from the start. First off, this one takes place in Colorado for some bizarre reason. The last two were located in a small fishing town where a slicker and a hook would be widely available and made sense. I have no idea why they moved the location but it just doesn’t work.

The movie starts out with five friends trying to pull off an elaborate prank. They are at a town carnival where they tell the story of the fisherman who kills teenagers but only if they have some deep, dark secret. Then one of their buddies runs around dressed in a fisherman’s slicker with a hook. As a result PJ, one of the people in on the joke ends up dead.

In the original film the group is in trouble due to potential manslaughter involving a traffic accident. But in this case, it’s clearly a prank gone wrong and I don’t think the group was all that culpable for the incident. The worst they would have gotten is manslaughter charges but basically the situation here is a skateboarder fell off a roof and didn’t land on some mattresses he expected to be there and died. Unless someone in the group literally moved the mattresses on purpose and knew their friend would not check before jumping off the roof, I think they would have had to pay some fines, done a few months in jail and probably a whole lot of community service. But, instead of confessing, they cover up the incident.

A couple other things to mention is the hook they used was bought for $19 on e-bay and was reported to be the original hook. So, as the audience we know this is not going to end well. The group swears themselves to secrecy and covers up all the evidence they can so at least they are careful that way.

Fast forward to a year later when one of the group gets the inevitable note saying I know what you did last summer. The group then has to spend the next few days trying not to get murdered. Some are more successful than others. It progresses as you would expect any of these movies to until the end.

There is going to be a spoiler for the ending here but I can’t recommend you watch the movie so I don’t think it’s a huge deal. The first two movies had some appeal because the audience was trying to figure out who the killer was along with the characters. But in this one, it’s the original killer who is long since dead and seems to be somehow reanimated. That supernatural change just took it from a meh premise to an actively bad one.

I know, I know, why can’t this be the same as Jason or Freddy or Michael Meyers who all keep coming back? Well, here’s the thing with those; in the early films of those characters there was at least some hint of the supernatural going on. In this one, they are just trying to copy that without putting in the groundwork to make it make sense. It doesn’t work at all and it’s basically a big ad warning you against buying hooks on e-bay for $19 dollars because it might be haunted.

The acting is not terrible here but no one is doing Shakespear here either. There are a few moments of definite overacting but it’s no worse than most horror films.

This is not the worst horror movie I have ever seen but it’s also far, far from the best. If you have just nothing else to do at all and you have a bunch of friends around and you’ve exhausted everything else fun to watch, you might get some mild enjoyment out of this. Otherwise this one is a total skipper.

Knowingly yours,

Slick Dungeon

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