El Conde – Movie Review

Well hello there movie lovers! It’s Slick Dungeon here and I am back to review yet another Oscar nominated film from 2023. I’m talking about the film that answers the age old question of what if a Chilean dictator was actually a vampire? And what if that film was shot beautifully? Then I must be talking about the seriously odd film, El Conde. This one is a bit of a weird ride so if you haven’t seen the film yet, fly on over to see the movie and come back here to read the review.

What’s it About?

The film starts out with a voice over telling us the story of a French soldier named Claude Pinochet. This dude is a vampire and he is found out. Mobs do what they do and try to kill him but he survives. He takes on a new identity and watches the French Revolution happen. From this point forward, Claude vows to suppress any destructive revolution he can in the world.

We then fast forward to 1935 where Claude joins the Chilean army and changes his name to Augusto Pinochet. If that name sounds familiar, that is because Augusto Pinochet was the real life dictator who overthrew the socialist government of Salvador Allende in 1973. Turns out he was a vampire. In this movie both metaphorically and literally. He demands his family refer to him as “Count” and he decides to fake his own death after years of ruling Chile with an iron fist.

He moves to a remote farm with the rest of his family and starts to lose interest in life. But his family also knows they are owed an inheritance out of Pinochet’s ill gotten gains. The only problems are that Pinochet is practically immortal and he has forgotten where he hid all his treasure.

One night someone starts killing people in the town of Santiago and consuming their hearts. Augusto’s family assumes this is him, deciding to extend his immortal life even further. But, in reality this is Fyodor, a white Russian who has worked for Pinochet for years and is the only person Augusto has turned into a vampire. The family is unaware of Fyodor’s part in the murders but they know their inheritance is at risk.

This is where a nun named Carmen comes in. She is hired to find out what happened to the money and to destroy Augusto Pinochet once and for all. She uses her charms to get information out of the family about all of their terrible secrets and tries to exorcise Pinochet. But Pinochet is too strong and seduces Carmen, allowing him to turn her into a vampire.

This prompts the narrator to reveal who she is and take action. It turns out the narrator is the mother of Augusto Pinochet and Margaret Thatcher. (checks notes) Yep, that Margaret Thatcher. Thatcher comes to reveal the truth to Pinochet who she is and demands that he kills Carmen. But it turns out becoming a vampire was all part of Carmen’s plan to expose the corruption of the Pinochet family.

Fyodor is having none of that and he captures Carmen and burns up the extensive documentation she has of the crimes of the Pinochet family. Then, Fyodor and Augusto’s wife, Lucia try to kill Augusto. But he’s been a vampire for longer and he is able to kill both Lucia and Fyodor.

Margaret and Augusto flee and the family is left to face a group of nuns looking for anything they can find. Augusto decides to remain in the country and wait to find more leftists to destroy.

All in all, the film has a bit of magic realism to it with a bit of an insane plot. But it’s well acted and comes together well enough.

The Cinematography

Whether you like the plot or not, the film is not up for best screenplay or picture, it is up for best cinematography. This is a category that can often be confused with directing. Basically, cinematography is the totality of how a film looks. Everything you see on screen, from the lighting, to the angle of the camera, to the focus and the camera movement falls into the category of cinematography. As an audience, it’s one of those things where you might be hard pressed to explain it but you know it when you see it.

El Conde is shot in a black and white style, reminiscent of the old Universal monster movies like Dracula or Frankenstein. I’m always a sucker for a film brave enough to choose black and white and look like a monster movie. But it also plays with this trope by letting the vampires in question look like pudgy old men who don’t seen so threatening when you take a close up look at their wrinkled faces. And the story also interplays with this style by having the characters be people who we know did real and terrible things in our own reality. Just because someone looks like a pudgy old man does not mean he is not capable of great cruelty if he has access to power.

The visuals from the film stay with you long after you have seen it, which is another good sign of great cinematography. There is no doubt this film looks great and is well made. A great example of the showcasing of the cinematography is when the family is at dinner and we are able to see all the schemings and machinations of the family members. Add in scenes where vampires are flying over the city in sweeping camera motions to frame the dictator as something dangerous and above us.

The soundtrack also works well here, using mostly classical sounds to reinforce the idea of this being something like, but not quite, a true monster movie.

As far as whether or not this will win, it is at this point hard for me to say. Out of all the films in this category I have so far only seen El Conde and Oppenheimer but I hear great things about the cinematography in Poor Things and Killers of the Flower Moon so I think this will be a category with some tough competition.

In Conclusion

The acting is good in the film, the directing is competent but the cinematography is actually outstanding whether or not El Conde wins in the category. As far as a film experience, this movie won’t be for everyone. You have to be comfortable with a bit of dark humor, a bit of magic realism, an amount of gore and a pretty over the top plot to enjoy it. But it will be one of the most unique films you see this year if you watch it.

Vampirically yours,

Slick Dungeon

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre – Movie Review

Hi there horror fans! Slick Dungeon here back to review another staple in the annals of horror. One of the most notorious and brutal films of all time which does not bury the lead in the title, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. This was a slasher before there were many slashers of note and is counted by some critics as the first actual slasher film ever made. I’m going to take a pretty deep dive into this series so if you have not seen the movie and don’t want any spoilers watch first and then come back to read the review where you will find out this movie is about a massacre with a chainsaw that takes place in Texas. Yes, I know it’s my keen and insightful analysis like that which brings you back to this blog over and over again. Anyway, if you don’t want spoilers from a 1974 film basically everyone knows about, watch the movie first!

Background

When I was a kid in the dark days before common use of the internet we liked to watch horror movies when we would have sleep overs at our friends’ houses. One of our favorite things to do at these sleepovers was to watch a super scary movie series and then stay awake all night from fear. Somehow, when I went to these sleepovers (or had them at my house) one film series that we never picked up was The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I’m not exactly sure why this one never came up for me but I suspect it has to do with the background of the film.

The movie was released in 1974 and was produced, co-composed and directed by Tobe Hooper. This film was somewhat inspired by the crimes of an actual murderer named Ed Gein, although the plot is basically fiction. While that is the truth of how the movie came to be, the rumors about this movie were wild. Much in the same way The Blair Witch Project would later cause people to believe actual crimes were committed in the making of the movie, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre was rumored to have used real skeletons, actually have killed people in the production and be based on real events. This lead to many of our parents banning the VHS copy of the film from ever being played at a sleepover.

Of course, the movie is just fiction, it was made on a low budget in Texas and by the standards of almost any horror movie today is fairly tame for a lot of it. That’s not to say there isn’t blood here or that it is not disturbing. It very much is, even now, but it’s really not much more over the top than any of the Halloween, Friday the 13th, or Scream films, with the notable exception that a chainsaw features prominently here. I should also point out that obviously no one was actually killed in the making of the movie.

Even before the film caught on, it had trouble getting distributed due to the violent nature of the content. Hooper had been hoping for a PG rating (remember this was before there was a PG-13 category) so he reduced the amount of blood shown. Still, this earned an R rating and it was tough to find a distributor willing to take it on. Eventually the Bryanston Distributing Company took on the challenge and in 1974 the film hit theaters in the United States and internationally. It was banned in several countries and even in the U.S. several theaters pulled it after audiences complained about the content of the movie.

Critics were basically mixed here at the opening but Hooper got the last laugh. The movie was made for $140,000 which would be just under about a million today if you adjust for inflation. The movie sold a whopping 16.5 million tickets earning over $30 Million in domestic box office alone. Thus Hooper proved for a low budget, with unknown actors, and plenty of scares and gore, audiences will come out to be scared. Not only that, they’ll keep coming back and love it. The slasher genre was truly born.

Sure, there had been a few movies one could argue would be slashers before this, Peeping Tom and Psycho being the most notable examples. But in those films, they were more psychological thrillers than anything else. While they had lots of shocking moments and a good amount of violence, that was never the point of those movies. But when you name a film The Texas Chainsaw Massacre there are three and only three things the audience demands to see. One, a massacre. Two, a chainsaw. And three the setting of Texas. Check, check and check. The fear is the point of this movie, no matter how you look at it.

This caused such a sensation that even if you didn’t watch it, you knew about the movie. It was not ashamed of what it was and made no apologies. The film inspired sequels, spin offs, books, comics, and video games as well. There are, in fact, nine films in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise with a tenth that was never released.

So the question is, how did a low budget movie featuring unknown actors and an unashamed acknowledgement of what it was right in the title spark an entire sub-genre and how does it hold up today?

Let’s dive in and find out!

Spoilers follow!

That’s an Odd Start

The beginning of the film starts with a text crawl and voice over. It talks about the tragedy which befalls five youths and in particular it mentions Sally Hardesty and her “invalid” brother. The voice over and text laments that these youths, even had they lived long lives could not have imagined nor wanted to see as much of the mad and macabre as they would that day. It mentions this was one of the most bizarre crimes in the annals of American history. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

This never says the film was based on true events or that the story was inspired by a particular news item but the implication is there. This gives the film more weight without actually lying about anything and it primes the audience for what will indeed be bizarre and macabre.

We then see a date on the screen, August 18, 1973. Again this gives an inference this is something that happened on a particular day. Much like Psycho the date is fairly meaningless so why would the filmmakers put it there unless something actually happened that day? It was a brilliant tactic when Psycho did this and I have to imagine Tobe Hooper was well aware of that when he decided to put a date at the start of this film. It makes you feel like you are peering into a window of time into something more akin to true crime than just a bloody horror film.

Next we hear the sound of digging, along with some grunting. There are camera flashes. It’s difficult at first to tell what is being lit up in the flashes but after a few times of this, it becomes clear we are looking at images of a rotting corpse, or perhaps corpses. The effects here don’t quite hold up to today’s standards but they are convincing enough to be off putting right from the start.

When we finally get a full picture, we see the face of the corpse as a news story plays in the background which talks about a grave robbing in the area of Newt, Muerto County Texas recently. Whoever dug up the graves also displayed the corpses on a monument in a grotesque manner. And as the camera pulls out to a wide shot, it is apparent that whoever they are talking about in the story has to be the one who was taking pictures. And we see the corpse we were looking at is set up in a strange manner so clearly this person has not been caught.

Road SAfety Tips

More news stories play in voice over as we watch the credits overlayed on images of red which could be just about anything but might possibly be blood or lava. Next we see a dead armadillo lying in the road. A van pulls over and we see the first of our living human characters get out.

The person gets out and lays a couple of sturdy boards out from the side door of the van. For those of us living in the current era this is pretty confusing but it makes sense once we see a man in a wheelchair being rolled out of the van on the boards. This was long before ADA compliance was a big thing and it’s a standard van so there is no ramp.

The person in the wheelchair is Franklin Hardesty and he is one of five people out on the trip here. He goes off to the side of the road to do what most men do when they pull over on the side of a road in the middle of nowhere. Unfortunately for Franklin, he gets startled and rolls down the side of a hill. If only that would be the worst thing to happen to poor Franklin that day.

Back on the road, everyone is sweating in the van because, well, Texas in summer has a lot of heat. Franklin is complaining about the heat as a woman in the van talks about astrology.

The group gets out of the van a bit later and we get a glimpse of our full party here. This consists of Sally and Franklin Hardesty, Jerry, Kirk and Pam. Those last three don’t get last names. Apparently Sally is looking for the gravesite of her grandfather at a local cemetery. She goes off to find the sheriff but Franklin is left in the van.

An old man who is sitting on a tire lies back and looks up at Franklin and we get the first real feeling of something being wrong for this group. The man says to Franklin, “Things happen here abouts, they don’t tell about. I see things. You see, they say it’s just an old man. Talkin’. You laugh at an old man. There’s them that laughs and knows better.”

It’s not at all clear what this guy is talking about but it feels wrong. And it’s one of those tropes that ends up becoming adopted in so many slasher films. There is a warning before the group is truly in danger, often from someone who would be considered elderly or mentally ill or in some other way a person whose warnings could be easily dismissed or ignored by the rest of the community.

They get back on the road and Sally tells Franklin it didn’t look like their grandfather’s grave had been dug up. Soon everyone in the van starts complaining about a bad smell. Franklin points out this is where an old slaughterhouse was where their grandfather used to sell cattle.

And then Franklin goes into relentless detail about how the cows are killed, including descriptions of their heads being bashed in with a sledge hammer. And then he describes the modern way they kill the cows, still in graphic detail.

Someone in the van points out a hitchhiker and they decide to stop and pick him up.

Here’s a road safety tip from your old uncle Slick, don’t pick up hitchhikers! Seriously, it is a bad idea, so please do not do it. Trust me.

They even comment on how odd looking the guy is before they let him into the van. The guy talks about how his family worked in the slaughterhouse and he just gives off a real creepy vibe. The man also has a quite distinctive red mark on his face which could be a scar or blood or even a birthmark. Before you know it, this guy is doing really disturbing stuff. He’s handing out pictures of what look like polaroids of bloody masses of something. The characters in the van seem to take it to be cattle but it’s a little hard to tell what it is at all.

Then Franklin takes out a knife and starts playing with it. The hitchhiker takes the knife from Franklin and cuts deeply into his own palm with it. Road safety tip number two, if the hitchhiker you pick up seems a bit off, don’t flash a knife in front of him. Road safety trip number three, if the hitchhiker who you picked up seems a little off and he cuts into his own palm, make sure you let him out right then and there.

The hitchhiker then takes out a beat up old polaroid camera and takes a picture of Franklin. The hitchiker tells the group they could drop him off at his house up the road but the group says they are in a hurry. That’s the first smart move they’ve made so far here.

The hitchhiker even offers them dinner, saying his brother makes head cheese real good, but the group is not tempted. The guy then takes a picture of Franklin and demands two dollars for the picture. Franklin doesn’t want it so the guy takes the picture back, places it in foil, and lights it on fire. Everyone in the van starts to freak out but the hitchhiker grabs Franklin and cuts pretty deep into Franklin’s arm.

Only at this point do they finally kick the guy out of the van. The driver then says, “That’s the last goddamned hitchhiker I ever pick up.” One would hope so. Not that he’ll have much choice by the end of the movie here.

They patch Franklin up as Pam reads Franklin’s horoscope which seems like nothing but bad news.

We’ve now set up for a disturbing ride for the rest of the film and by the end, this group will be wishing they were just still on the road with an odd hitchhiker.

More Road Safety Tips

The van pulls up to a gas station. Everyone is a bit rattled from the day they’ve had. They are told the gas station has no gas, the tanks are all empty. This is odd but not impossible in a remote area like this. Franklin then asks about an old house they are looking for. The gas station attendant says they shouldn’t go poking around other people’s property because there are people who don’t like it and they’re willing to show you. In other words, poking around in deserted houses in the area is probably a bad idea. Franklin says it’s his father’s place though. The attendant offers them barbeque and says they should stick around a while and wait for the tanker to come fill up the gas tanks.

Another road safety tip here, if the gas station you pull up to has no gas, find the next one with gas as soon as humanly possible. Instead of go straight to the gas station, they drive out to Franklin’s grandfather’s place. This is a seriously bad idea.

Sally mentions the hitchhiker smeared blood all over the outside of the van.

They get over to the house they are trying to see, which is abandoned and look at the van to see that not only is there a blood smear, but it looks like a symbol of some kind.

Franklin seems rather paranoid about the hitchhiker following them and is real concerned about his knife.

There’s a pretty long sequence where the characters just kind of wander around the empty house for a bit as some ominous music plays.

Eventually Pam and Kirk decide they want to go swimming in a creek Franklin had mentioned and they take off. Franklin then notices some odd decorations made out of what look like bones.

That’s not a chainsaw

Kirk and Pam make it down the road and they see a house that seems to have a generator. Kirk figures he could go and get some gas if he leaves his guitar with these people as collateral until he can come back and pick it up. When they get close to the house there are a bunch of old broken down cars.

They wander around a bit and finally end up entering the house. This is when it starts to get real.

Kirk kicks a tooth on the ground and scares Pam with it. Rather than just leave, Kirk opens the unlocked door but Pam walks away. Kirk makes the mistake of walking in deeper and he starts to hear strange sounds like a person making pig noises.

We get our first view of Leatherface here as he pops out and bashes Kirk in the head with a sledgehammer. Wait, what? That’s not a chainsaw! Yep, that’s right, we’re saving that for later.

You’ve probably seen pictures of Leatherface before so I won’t go into too much detail but he wears a mask that is supposed to be made of human skin, and is wearing a butcher’s apron at this point in the movie.

Pam gives up waiting and goes to the door of the house and walks in after Kirk. She stumbles into a room just filled with bones. These are distinctly human bones and set up in all kinds of weird ways. Plus there is a chicken hanging in a cage for some reason. Pam starts freaking out and tries to leave. Leatherface pops out and grabs her.

He hangs her on a meathook as she is still screaming.

Oh, There is a Chainsaw

As poor Pam hangs there, Leatherface pulls out a chainsaw and starts to cut up Kirk’s body. We don’t really see too much blood here but the scene is still utterly disturbing.

Back at the van Franklin and Sally argue about who had his knife last. Jerry decides to go down to the creek and find Pam and Kirk.

Sally and Franklin continue to argue as Jerry goes to meet his doom.

Jerry finds the same house Pam and Jerry did and goes inside. He hears banging from a locked freezer and goes and opens it. A frozen Pam pops out for a minute.

Leatherface comes up from behind and guess what? Yep, sledge hammer to ol’ Jerry as well.

You really shoulda got that gas

By now it’s dark and Sally and Franklin are starting to wonder what has happened to their friends. There’s a bit of a long conversation where Franklin and Sally argue about whether they should go back to the gas station or go look for their friends. Turns out Jerry took the keys anyway so they can’t drive back to the gas station.

Finally the pair head down the path where their friends went and make all kinds of noise hollering for their friends.

When they are half way down the path they hear a noise and see a light at a house ahead of them. They go a bit farther and Leatherface shows up with his chainsaw. Franklin is no more but Sally runs away.

Leatherface runs through the forest after her swinging his chainsaw every which way. Sally makes it to the house where her friends died and runs up the stairs. She encounters an elderly man in a rocking chair. He looks like he might be dead but we’ll later find out this is the living grandfather of Leatherface. Sally runs down the hall.

Leatherface is close behind but Sally does what will become a signature move for her. She jumps out of the window to escape.

There is another chase through the forest until Sally finds herself all the way back at the gas station that had no gas.

I’ll pass on the Barbeque, thanks

In the gas station the attendant is there and he tries to calm Sally down. She tries to ask the guy to call the police but he says there is no phone. Again, odd but not impossible in those days. The guy says he’ll drive her over to the next town and leaves to get his truck.

And that’s when Sally notices the meat cooking in some kind of pit. That is definitely not beef. And another report about the desecration of graves plays in the background.

The gas station attendant comes back with a sack and Sally realizes she is still in some serious trouble. She tries to defend herself but gets beaten with a broom and knocked out. The attendant ties her up and gags her.

He tosses her in the truck and weirdly seems to be trying to reassure her that things will be okay as he keeps hitting her with the broomstick.

On the way, the gas station attendant picks up the hitchhiker from the beginning of the movie and yells at the guy. As if needed any more confirmation he tells the guy he was supposed to stay away from the graveyard. And we find out this guy is the brother of Leatherface.

The worst family dinner of all time

When Sally has the bag removed from her head, she sees the hitchhiker and she’s back in the house she escaped from. Things are not looking good.

Next, the gas station attendant tells the killers to go get their grandpa. He also tells Sally to take it easy and they’ll have something for her to eat right away.

Sure enough the guy in the chair from earlier is brought downstairs as Sally struggles the best she can to get away. Eventually she passes out and when she wakes up she’s at the family dinner table.

We also find out that the gas station attendant doesn’t like killing people and he lets the two brothers do all of that. Turns out the gas station attendant is, “just the cook.”

The whole room is decorated with bones and body parts and feels extremely uncomfortable to the viewer.

There’s kind of a long sequence here where they threaten and torture Sally and explain to her that their grandfather was the best killer they had ever seen. They make the mistake of trying to get Grandpa to kill Sally but he’s so old and weak that he keeps missing.

Fortunately for Sally she’s untied and able to escape the house. She once again jumps out of a window to get away. Leatherface and the hithchhiker run after Sally. Leatherface, of course, has his chainsaw with him.

Even More Road Safety Tips

Sally makes it to the road with the hitchhiker grabbing onto her. A semi-truck comes out of nowhere and basically flattens the hitchhiker. Look before you cross, people. And yeah, if you see a guy covered in blood grabbing a woman who is screaming for dear life as you drive your truck down the street, I can’t say I blame you if you hit the gas here.

The truck pulls over after this and the driver lets Sally into the cab of the truck. Leatherface comes with his chainsaw and saws the door a bit.

If I was the driver here, I woulda hit the gas so hard to get outta there but that’s not what he does. Instead, he and Sally run out the other side as Leatherface chases after them. But the driver grabbed a wrench on the way out and tosses it at Leatherface’s head. It connects and Leatherface falls, causing him to drop his chainsaw onto his own leg. It cuts him but it doesn’t sever the leg or anything.

A pickup truck comes by and pulls over. The driver of the semi-truck runs into the woods so who knows what happens to him? But Sally is able to get into the back of the pickup, she’s smeared in blood and laughing and screaming like she has lost her mind.

The film ends with a shot of Leatherface swinging his chainsaw around in the air as the sun rises behind him.

In Conclusion

There were a lot of factors that made this a successful horror film. One is the ominous soundtrack which plays in the background. The cinematography here is nothing special but it’s competent. The set design is completely off putting to the audience and with each watch through you are bound to notice yet another disturbing thing in the background you might have missed. Gunnar Hansen, who plays Leatherface is an imposing figure and you can’t take your eyes off of him whenever he is on screen.

But most importantly, this film was willing to cross boundaries and take risks where other horror films up to this point had not. There is not a larger story here other than people in danger and the end is not conclusive. The bad guys are not caught and punished for their misdeeds so one can presume they will be free to continue their horrific crimes into the future. The only one who seems like they might be out of the picture is the hitchhiker since he was hit by a truck.

It can’t be underestimated how influential this film is in the annals of horror. Most slasher films owe something to this one, whether it is a mysterious figure under a mask, a thoroughly creepy soundtrack, warnings from the community before the danger starts, or a collection of people going about everyday activities who find themselves confronted with a horror they can barely comprehend.

While there are definitely slasher films which I would say are better, this movie undoubtedly laid the groundwork for those. Since I have not yet seen all of the films in the franchise, I can’t say if the rest improve on the quality here but this first film is the one everyone knows about and for good reason.

Slashingly yours,

Slick Dungeon

To the Solemn Graves – Book Review

Note: this review was first posted on Reedsy Discovery, an awesome website that pairs independent authors and readers. To see the post there, click here.

If you are a book reviewer and want to contribute reviews on Reedsy Discovery, click here.

(Note: this post contains affiliate links. If you purchase something through this post I will get a small commission at no extra cost to you)

SYNOPSIS

Feeling shunned in their new neighborhood, a family attributes the cold attitude of the neighbors to prejudice—but a little investigation unearths a more shocking motive. A conniving widower finds a new wife through a foreign dating service, but the bride turns out to know him much more intimately than he imagined. A young man enlists a shaman to exorcise a terrifying spirit from his apartment, and as he learns more about the supposed ghost, he begins to form a strange and tender bond with her. To the Solemn Graves presents thirteen illustrated stories that, while laced with the supernatural, remind us that most horror comes from the all too natural.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

REVIEW

To the Solemn Graves is a book of 13 short stories. They have a diverse cast of characters with diverse viewpoints but all of them have one thing in common. They deal with ghosts in some way. Some of the stories have actual ghosts or ghost like encounters while others are more grounded in the natural world. But most of the stories have a deeper meaning and go beyond just spooks and scares.

From a family adjusting to a new home, to a “mail order bride” who knows more than she is letting on to a creaky staircase where a writer finds inspiration and something sinister, the stories are all fairly entertaining. The illustrations are well made and haunting.

Like any short story collection there are some stories that stand out more than others and much of that is based on the readers taste. In this volume it seems to me the ones that shine brightest are the ones which reveal a more human and often times more evil motive than a ghost might have. My personal favorite was the one titled Consequences which proves to be a good mix of the real, the surreal, and the supernatural.

Another aspect that is often lacking in ghost stories but is present here is diversity. The characters come for a good variety of genders, sexual identities and backgrounds making for a refreshing read. Kim Idynne excels at getting the reading into the head of her characters quickly no matter who they are and where they come from.

If you enjoy ghost stories but are looking for something with a few surprise twists and turns, with engaging characters and a decent payoff in each story, To the Solemn Graves is definitely worth reading. If another collection comes from this author I expect it will also be a refreshing read when it appears.

Godzilla Minus One – Movie Review

Godzilla Minus One

Hello horror fans, Slick Dungeon here! I’m back to review another horror film and this one is my pick for not just one of the best horror films, but one of the best films of 2023. I am talking, of course, about Godzilla Minus One. Despite the title making me think there should be zero Godzillas, there is in fact an epic Godzilla in this movie. There will be some spoilers in this review but I will try to keep them light enough you should be able to see it without worry. Still, if things like knowing there is a Godzilla in this movie is too much of a spoiler for you, go see the movie and come back to read the review!

Rating: 5 out of 5.

To KNow Before You go

There are a few things to know before you watch this film. First, this is not directly related to the most recent Godzilla movies set in the so called Monarch Monsterverse. Those films kicked off with Bryan Cranston in 2014 and there are so far four movies with another slated to come out next year and a television series. In addition all of those are American productions while Godzilla Minus One is the first Godzilla movie to come out of Japan for quite some time. You absolutely do not have to have ever seen any Godzilla movie to enjoy Godzilla Minus One. This is the rare case where knowing too much about the previous films might even bog you down a bit.

What’s with that title?

Before I get too far into the review, I am going to touch upon the title for a moment because it is kind of an odd title. Some people have theorized the minus one is because this is a sort of prequel film to the original Godzilla of 1954. That is, in fact not true. This is more of a reimagining of the original Godzilla, however Minus One tells a much more moving story.

The reason the title is Godzilla Minus One has to do with where Japan was as a country and culture following the events of World War II. Having lost a war, been devastated by two nuclear blasts and struggling to come back from its lowest point in history, Japan was at zero. But in Godzilla Minus One, the idea is, what if they could sink lower. On top of all of the devastation, destruction and heartbreak, there is now an unstoppable monster set out to devastate everything Japan has started to rebuild.

But How about the Movie Itself?

If that was the only idea, this might make for a decent film. But the movie follows the central character of pilot Kōichi Shikishima. Shikishima has committed an act he and many other people feel is unforgivable when he happens upon the impossible. A legendary monster so large and powerful it could level cities in an instant. Godzilla.

On the surface the film is obviously about how to stop a Kaiju from wreaking havoc upon a civilization. But, the film goes far deeper than that to touch on themes of loss, hope, redemption, power structures, and who should be held responsible for decisions that cost lives. Is it courageous to do something reckless, just because those in authority want you to? Are you a coward if you freeze at a particular moment in time? And what would the effect be on a war torn civilization if it had to face a new threat after such loss?

The action here is excellent and Godzilla himself has never looked better. All the big Kaiju pieces you want in a movie like this are there but this one shines because it was so well thought through. Godzilla Minus One is not just a good lesson in how to create an action film but an excellent lesson in how to tell a story. More film makers should take note.

I won’t spoil much but I will say there is one line in this movie that just shows how well thought out the approach to a disaster film is here. There is a moment with my favorite line in an Godzilla film I have seen when a character says, “To have never gone to war is something to be proud of.” It’s extremely moving and nearly pitch perfect. I never thought a Kaiju film would make me think about the deeper meaning of life but if any film pulls it off, this one does.

Have you seen this one? Do you think it stands up to the original? Let me know in the comments!

Monstrously yours,

Slick Dungeon

Get Your Copy of Trouble on the Rock Today!

A Call of Cthulhu 7th Edition One Shot Scenario for 2-4 Players

Happy December folks! I’ve just published my second scenario for Call of Cthulhu 7th edition.

Trouble on the Rock is a scenario appropriate for 2-4 players and should take about 2-4 hours to play. This is part 1 of a 3 part series that takes place on Alcatraz Island. The year is 1934, the prison is just about to become a Federal Penitentiary and something on the island is on the loose! Can your investigators get to the bottom of it? Or will they be stuck on The Rock forever?

There’s lots of cool stuff in here, including player and Keeper maps, 6 handouts, and 4 pre-generated investigator sheets!

Check it out for just $4.99!

Just click on the image above or click here.

I hope you have as much fun playing it as I did writing it! Part 2 will be out early next year!

And if you want to check out the first scenario I made, you can get that right here for $2.99! Just click here.

Adam Wright

Drakomunda – Book Review

Drakomunda by Guy Quarterly

Note: this review was first posted on Reedsy Discovery, an awesome website that pairs independent authors and readers. To see the post there, click here.

If you are a book reviewer and want to contribute reviews on Reedsy Discovery, click here.

(Note: this post contains affiliate links. If you purchase something through this post I will get a small commission at no extra cost to you)

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Drakomunda is a book that takes place in a land of dark magic and strange artifacts where anyone can have their lives altered by fate. A series of short but related stories are presented in the book, all with a bit of a different flavor. Some take place in a decidedly ancient society while others feel like they are happening closer to our time, albeit still in a quite fantastical world.

Like with any book filled with shorter entries some stand out more than others. Overall, Guy Quarterly, does a fantastic job with his characters and the book is simply full of great action and horror. A few of the stories feel like they could have been shortened just a bit but in the end the payoff is usually worth it.

Whether Quarterly is writing about a caravan crossing the desert, a shipwrecked crew, brave warriors trying to fit in with their tribe, or warlords getting their revenge, the stories are gripping. Often times they are decidedly dark and the threats and menace in the book is palpable. Quarterly is especially good at building out interesting villains here.

Many of the themes of the book deal with unlikely allies, unexpected betrayals, and even love both gained and lost. Because the stories are so varied, there is surely something for any reader to like here but which ones stand out most to a reader will depend on individual tastes. The whole collection is very much worth reading.

There is a fair amount of gore so any readers sensitive to that may wish to take caution. That’s not to say everything in the book is always gratuitous, just that those who are squeamish about such things may not enjoy every aspect of every story.

With this as a debut, I am looking forward to reading more of his work. If you like fantasy with a dark edge, and enjoy short fiction along those lines, this is a perfect book for you.

Pearl – Movie Review

Mia Goth is Pearl in the 2022 film of the same name

Hello horror fans! October may be over but that doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of great horror films and shows to watch. I recently watched the prequel to Ti West’s excellent slasher X. While Pearl is a prequel to X, you can watch these in either order. Do be forewarned there will be some mild spoilers for both Pearl and X below. You’ve been warned so if that sort of thing bothers you, go out back, make sure your pet gator is fed, then go on back to the barn, plug in the old cable television and watch the movies before you head back here for the review.

Mia Goth Delivers again

One of the best parts of X was easily Mia Goth in her performance as Maxxxine. In Pearl she gets the title role and delivers an excellent performance, able to balance a naive innocence with a burgeoning madness.

Pearl tells the story of a young woman who is stuck on a rural farm, waiting for her young husband to come home from the war in 1918. She’s under the strict supervision of her parents but she yearns for more. Pearl wants to dance and see the world. But with the way things are for women at the time, she’s not likely to get her chance.

To add to her struggles, the influenza pandemic is raging at the time, and her mother is more than a little paranoid about contracting the disease. At the time, it was certainly a valid concern, but the way Pearl’s mother acts is on the more extreme end of things.

Pearl meets a young man who is a bit on the wild side and she finds out about a chance to dance for a show that is going on the road. The man and the opportunity give Pearl the chance to live a little on the edge and find out more about what the world is about. Yet, it’s no surprise things will not end well here.

Things get Dangerous

Pearl, on top of her hopes and dreams, has some clearly violent tendencies. She seems to take great pleasure in killing small animals and feeding them to the alligator that lives near her farm. There are times she flies off the handle with no warning and again, Mia Goth does a fantastic job of giving the character enough edge without making it unbelievable.

She has a supportive sister in law and a domineering mother. Her father is wheel chair bound but Pearl seems to like him the most out of the people in her family. Things come to a head when Pearl goes to try out for the dance show against her mother’s wishes.

I won’t spoil what comes next since what happens is pretty extreme but this is a horror film so you can probably guess it’s something rather horrible.

In Conclusion

Overall, the film is a bit quieter than X but I’d say it’s more unsettling. The tone plays more of a part here and leaves the audience just enough off balance to make it worth watching. Even if you have seen X and have a pretty good idea what’s up with Pearl, you’ll still find some stand out performances and an unforgettable ending. If you haven’t given this a watch and you like a good slasher or an unsettling horror period piece, this is definitely worth checking out.

Horrifically yours,

Slick Dungeon

Happy Friday the 13th!

A Friday the 13th in October?! You know what that means! You gotta watch a Friday the 13th movie tonight. But where do you begin? What’s the best one? Do I have to watch these things in order? How many movies are there? Good news! I have already done reviews of all 12, yes one less than 13, films. Check them out below to find out which ones are worth watching. Honestly, I think they all are but each one will give you a different sort of experience. If you want the scariest ones, go with the first three. If you want the best of them go with the fourth one and if you want the most ridiculous experience watch the one where Jason goes to space. Yes, you read that right! Jason goes to space.

Anyway, check out my reviews below. There are spoilers here so be forewarned.

Friday the 13th – the one with Kevin Bacon!

Friday the 13th Part II – The one that ups the stakes and the body count for the first time!

Friday the 13th Part III – The one where we finally see the hockey mask!

Friday the 13th Part IV – The one where Crispin Glover shows his dance moves!

Friday the 13th Part V – The one that fooled us all!

Friday the 13th Part VI – The one where kids finally show up at summer camp!

Friday the 13th Part VII – The one with telekinesis!

Friday the 13th Part VIII – The one in New York that’s mostly on a boat!

Friday the 13th Part IX – The one where Jason goes to hell!

Friday the 13th Part X – The one where Jason goes to space!

Freddy Vs. Jason – The horror movie grudge match of the century! (I’m team Jason!)

Friday the 13th (2009) – The unnecessary remake!

And because I really want there to be 13 things on this list, here’s a bonus. A fantastic documentary about the whole Friday the 13th series. It’s a long watch but for a big fan, totally worth it.

Crystal Lake Memories: The Complete History of Friday the 13th – the one where we learn all the things!

Happy Friday the 13th!

Superstitiously yours,

Slick Dungeon

X – Movie Review

Mia Goth, Jenna Ortega, Brittney Snow, Kid Codi, and Owen Campbell star in X

Hello Halloween pals and gals, and everyone in between! Slick Dungeon here and I’m back to review another spooky film for my favorite horror movie month. This time I watched a surprisingly decent film with a small cast just called X. No, not the artist formerly known as Twitter, the movie called X. There are going to be some spoilers below but they will be fairly mild. Still, if you are averse to spoilers watch the movie first. It’s a good one so it’s worth your time.

It’s Art

Still with me? Okay good. X is a movie about a group of filmmakers trying to break into the adult film industry in the 1970’s. This rag tag bunch of eccentric folks who cut against the mainstream want to capture the success of the famous adult film Debbie Does Dallas. Our heroes in X are also from Texas so it makes sense they might want to capitalize on this trend. They have a cast, a producer, and a director and they’re all ready to go. The group even has a location. The plan is to shoot the film on a little farm out in the middle of nowhere. The farm lets people rent rooms on the property for a fee. The only catch? Our movie makers have chosen the wrong farm. Also, they haven’t told the farm owners what they’re up to.

If there is any one particular protagonist here it’s Mia Goth’s Maxine (spelled with three X’s in her stage name version). She wants to be a sex symbol and rich and famous and this movie is supposed to be her start.

I don’t want to spoil the movie too much but as this is a slasher film, well, let’s just say things start happening and bodies start dropping. As the audience we have a pretty good idea of who is doing it although how believable that is can definitely be up for debate.

The movie knows what it is and makes reference to Psycho more than once, acknowledging and subverting its predecessor in several ways. The movie is superbly acted with great performances from everyone in the cast but Mia Goth stands out here. It’s rare that anyone can outshine Jenna Ortega in a horror film so that’s saying something.

The movie also has some great cinematography and is very well directed. There are definitely some moments that stretch the imagination but when you get right down to it, this movie knows it’s just dumb fun. And that usually makes for the best of slasher films.

Why the 1970’s?

Did this have to be set in the 70’s? Not at all. But putting it there actually does a lot for the film. First, the 70’s and early 80’s is when a lot of the greatest horror films were made. Second, we don’t have to deal with cell phones and the internet which make a serial slasher killer going around for hours without being caught much less believable. And with such a small cast and low budget, the time period really works. They did a fantastic job mimicking the look and feel of the fashions from the decade.

More to Come

One thing to note is there is a prequel movie to X called Pearl. I happened to watch this in release order but this is a rare instance where I really think it does not matter which movie you watch first. I’ll have a separate review for Pearl soon.

However, there is apparently a third film coming. To give you the name of it would actually spoil something from this film so I’m not going to say the title but if it is as good as both X and Pearl are, I’ll be watching for sure.

In conclusion

If you want a fun slasher flick that doesn’t talk down to the audience, is smart enough to keep things tight and short, and has excellent performances, X is a great choice. If want a great double feature experience, throw on Pearl as well. And truly, it doesn’t matter which one you watch first. I’ll say I am slightly more partial to X but it’s a really close call.

Horrifically yours,

Slick Dungeon

Psycho (1998) – Movie Review

Anne Heche stars as Marion Crane in the 1998 remake of Psycho

Hello, hello, hello Halloween friends! Well, it’s that time. We’ve reached the 1998 remake of Psycho starring Vince Vaughn, Anne Heche, Julianne Moore, Viggo Mortensen and William H. Macey. The project was directed by Gus Van Sant who is a big time admirer of Alfred Hitchcock. There are spoilers for this movie below but if you have seen the original Psycho, that whole thing spoils this one, so enough said. Let’s get into the review.

What was that?

This film is practically a shot by shot remake of the first one. It’s in color, it has different actors, it’s slightly more explicit, and there’s some dreamy imagery here and there. Otherwise, this is the same film as the one Hitchcock made.

I have no idea why anyone thought this was a good idea at all. I guess putting it in color, it might be argued, allows some people who can’t stand black and white films to see the story. Here’s the thing though, no one can out Hitchcock Alfred Hitchcock. Gus Van Sant is a competent enough director but he didn’t make the original so this can practically be called plagiarism.

I’ll be honest here, I am probably biased. I’m a long time fan of the original Psycho so I already think a remake is a bad idea. But, I get the urge to want to modernize a classic. Still, if you have to do this, I don’t think Vince Vaughn is the guy to play Norman Bates.

Should You watch this?

If you’ve seen the original, there is no need to watch the remake. It’s… fine. But you’d be better off just watching the original again. If you’re dying to know what Psycho looks like in color this is your best option. But the modern color and the fact the setting is 1998 instead of 1960 makes some of the story feel really dated. In 1998 it’s really not such a big deal that two people are having an affair as it was in 1960. Also, the amount of money taken is increased for inflation.

Every time I watch this I simply can’t wrap my head around why in the world it was made at all. What is the point here?

My opinion, don’t waste your time with this and just go with the original. But hey, if you just gotta watch this, you do you, I’m not here to judge.

In Conclusion

I find this film to be the most pointless of all the Psycho films. The acting and directing is fine and all, but it’s no Hitchcock classic. And it’s obviously something we’ve seen before considering how close it is to the original. While I really think the only essential film in all of the Psycho franchise is the original, the remake is absolutely the most skippable.

Horrifically yours,

Slick Dungeon