Happy Friday the 13th everybody! Slick Dungeon here to review yet another in the Friday the 13th film series.

Jason has been through a lot at this point in the film series. He’s been drowned, shot, stabbed, burnt, thrown through several windows and endured the dance stylings of Crispin Glover. He’s also killed tons of people but there is one thing he has never done. Gone to Hell.

The title of this film is Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday. Huge spoiler here – it’s not the final Friday at all.

Anyway, I sat down and watched this one and while it is not the best in the series it isn’t the worst either. There will be actual spoilers in the review below so if you haven’t seen this and really care about that sort of thing watch the movie first.

The film starts in classic Crystal Lake fashion. There is a woman who is alone in a cabin and getting ready to take a bath. Guess who shows up? Yep, Jason himself is back. He goes in for the kill but the woman escapes and runs out into the woods where… a whole task force of FBI agents shoot him with all the firepower they have and then blow him up just to finish the job.

Waiting in the woods observing all this is a bounty hunter named Creighton Duke. He knows this won’t be the end of Jason but he seems to know how to stop the guy.

Jason’s body (what is left of it) is taken to the morgue for an autopsy. But his still beating heart seems to hypnotize and possess the guy doing the autopsy. And Jason is out in a new body free to kill again. Not only that, he can actually switch bodies through a gross version of CPR.

Back in Crystal Lake, there is a waitress who we find out is Jason’s sister. She has a daughter who also has a daughter meaning Jason has three living relatives.

Well, you can probably guess what happens. Jason hops from body to body killing everyone who gets in his way, including his sister. But his niece and her daughter are still alive and the remainder of the movie is about protecting them.

It plays out like most of these movies do where there are tons of chances for Jason to get all murder-y, for people to run around in the woods, for the police department to mess up yet again, and in the end for Jason to be seemingly killed.

Most horror fans like this one for the very last scene of the film. After Jason has sunk down into the earth, presumably where Hell is geographically located, an iconic glove with blades on the fingers comes out to grab the hockey mask. Yep, Freddy has the mask now and Jason is in Hell with him. Do I smell a crossover coming? Yes. Yes I do.

Now that you have the plot there, I had a few questions and comments about this one.

1. For most of the movies Jason was unstoppable but wasn’t really a supernatural demon or anything. I’m not sure this helps the movie so why change that? Just so we can acknowledge Jason belongs in hell? I think we knew that from (checks notes) all the killing he did.
2. In the first scene Jason is easily caught by the FBI team. Now, I am not saying Jason is the smartest killer around but for decades he has been able to kill a group of people before they even figured out he started killing anyone. He hides the bodies in places that will throw them into shock and then strikes. So why in this one would he not have seen the FBI agents? It’s where Jason lives and kills best and with all the people and equipment they had there, there is no way Jason would not have noticed.
3. The Jason movies have been fairly enjoyable slashers up to this point but this one becomes more of a body horror movie and seems to go for the gross out more than the jump in your seat sort of scare. Bad call filmmakers.
4. Creighton Duke is set up as the guy who knows how to kill Jason and at the beginning you would be forgiven for thinking this movie would be about him. But what does this guy do? First he watches Jason not actually get killed. Then he does an interview where he says he knows how to kill Jason for a price. Then he goes to Crystal Lake, immediately gets himself put in prison and spends most of the movie there. We are never given his backstory as to why he knows how to kill Jason or why he might have it out for Jason in particular. (I mean other than just objecting to all the killing Jason does which is reason enough) So here is my question. Who is going to pay this guy for all that? He has to be like the worst bounty hunter of all time. He pretty much does nothing except give away a secret and hand someone a dagger. Other than that, no point to this guy.
5. Also, the last time we saw Jason he had been changed into a child because of nuclear waste in a New York sewer. I realize we don’t get a lot of explanations in this series but uh, could you tell us how he came back?
6. Since when did Jason have a sister? Perhaps somewhere in the last 8 movies that could have been mentioned. Or you know, the police could have gone to the sister and said, hey do you know your brother is a murder machine? Anything you could do to stop him would be great.
7. There are a few scenes at the Voorhees home. This place is huge but it’s been empty and deserted for years. But from the outside it looks like it has been really well maintained. I really want to know, was someone paying for the landscaping of the yard for all these years or is someone just cutting that grass for free?
8. Also, inside the house there is an unexplained book that looks like it’s some kind of magic book to call demons or something. Who exactly was reading that? It wasn’t Jason’s mom and I don’t think it was his sister or niece. My money is on the landscaper.
9. It has been NINE movies now, NINE and they only tore down the cabins at Camp Crystal Lake recently. Like, this town is asking for it. Why does anyone live here???
10. So Jason is supposed to go to Hell but we just see him sucked into the ground by a bunch of dirt hands. Couldn’t we have gotten at least one scene of him in Hell? This is worse than when Jason went to Manhattan and only spent like ten minutes there.
11. The twist of Jason having a sister was pretty lazy writing and then using that to be how Jason had to be killed was also pretty lazy writing. I am starting to get the feeling people don’t watch these for the plot. Am I the only one thinking that here?
12. Okay so Freddy grabbed the mask! Freddy grabbed the mask! We’re going to see Freddy and Jason fight each other right? Right? That’s the next movie right?
13. The next one is Jason in space? But Freddy is there right? No? Oh man, Friday the 13th is not my lucky day.

I’ve only got a few of these left to review and I do actually think the series holds up pretty well after nine films, so that’s saying something. Remember if you are camping this weekend, they already tore down the cabins in Crystal Lake so you can’t stay there. Although, I do hear there is a landscaper who might have a place you can crash at.

Slashingly yours,

Slick Dungeon