My BloodyValentine (1981)

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Hey lovebirds, Slick Dungeon here. It’s the month of February and that means love is in the air and everyone wants to celebrate Valentine’s day. Unless, of course, you live in Valentine Bluffs where a trapped miner decided to go on a killing spree offing anyone related to his mining accident or Valentine’s day. Fair warning if you have not guessed already, there will be spoilers for this movie. It came out 41 years ago, I think we’re okay to talk about this one.

Every good holiday needs it’s own slasher/killer movie. The scary ones were already taken with Halloween and Friday the 13th. The next most obvious one would probably be New Years Eve but in 1981 we got a movie suited for horror fans on a date on February 14th. I don’t know when we’ll get around to having an Arbor day slasher feature but I am sure if it is not already out there it will be.

Anyway, this movie is about a group of miners in a small town. It’s been twenty years since a killing spree happened on this holiday and the town is finally ready to move on and have some fun. It’s decorated to the max and there will be a dance.

Everything is going well until someone gets a heart shaped candy box with… an actual heart in it.

If you are a horror fan you already know what’s coming. The killings continue, the town does cancel the dance due to safety concerns, but a group of idiots insists on having a Valentine’s day party anyway. Their preferred location for said party? The mines. Well, more like the rec room of the mine at least to start but it’s still a bad idea.

Soon a maniac with a pickaxe is on the loose doing as much damage as possible. Bodies are found, dates are cornered in secluded locations and then killed, local law enforcement has to intervene and the body count rises.

Now, I know some people love this film and it’s a serviceable slasher film. But I had not seen it until now and there are a few things working against it. This is not the film’s fault but their blood and gore just doesn’t hold up. We’ve seen it done better too many other times for it to work here. We’ve also seen this story done before, the only difference is the mine is a somewhat unique location for a slasher film. As in most slasher films a lot of dumb decisions are made by the main characters but the choice to go down into an abandoned part of a mine on a night when you already know people have been killed and there is a maniac on the loose seems exceedingly reckless. But the point that most works against this film is the one that can make or break any slasher film. The twist at the end. Friday the 13th did this especially well and Scream is brilliant at this but My Bloody Valentine has a twist that seems rushed and obvious all at once. There’s not a great backstory to it and it feels completely tacked on. I think if they pulled this off better I might have been able to give this three stars instead of two and a half.

If you need a Valentine’s day slasher film to watch, well, this is one of them. It’s not great but it’ll do in a pinch. Just make sure you don’t accept any heart shaped candy boxes with actual hearts in them.

Are you a big fan of Valentine’s themed slashers? If you know a good one, let me know in the comments below!

Horrifically yours,

Slick Dungeon

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