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Women Talking – Movie Review

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Hello film fans and welcome to Oscar day! We’re hours away from the big awards show and I only have a couple more best picture nominations to review. This time I am talking about the intense film Women Talking. There will be spoilers below so if that bothers you please watch the film first and then read the review. But before you watch the film at all, let me give you a little content warning. This film deals with the heavy matters of the worst kind of sexual violence against women and children so be warned before you go into it. While the film never shows anything extremely graphic, the subject matter is touched upon heavily and the few images that do show something are unforgettable. If that sort of subject matter gets to you in any way, stay far away from this film because you will be uncomfortable watching it.

Women Talking is about a small Mennonite colony where there have been instances of assault against women and children. The men who committed these acts have been caught and sent to prison, at least temporarily. While most of the men are away in town dealing with court and bail proceedings, it’s up to the women to decide what to do. They give themselves three choices. Do nothing. Stay and fight. Or leave.

The movie goes through the discussion, sometimes flashing back to instances of violence, while the women who all have differing points of view. try to decide what is best for them, and what is best in the eyes of God. For a film which is mostly a long conversation, this is riveting. The acting here is outstanding and the ensemble cast put in a great effort.

The story is based on a novel of the same name which was itself inspired by true life events. I can’t speak to how much of it is accurate to what actually happened but this dramatized performance is more than memorable. The film will sit with you long after viewing.

And while the themes are very intense and serious, you do come away from the viewing with a bit of hope that things will get better for the women in the end.

If you love good dramas and you can take rather intense subject matter, this is a must watch. If it wins best picture it would be deserving although I think it will be a bit of an upset if it does. Still, whether it wins or not this is definitely one of the best films from 2022 and well worth viewing.

Awarding-ly yours,

Slick Dungeon

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Triangle of Sadness – Movie Review

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Hello film fans, it’s Slick Dungeon here! I’m back to review the next Oscar contender for this year, a film about the super rich and a yacht cruise gone wrong called Triangle of Sadness. There will be spoilers in this review so if that makes you seasick, watch the movie first and come on back here to read the review.

Triangle of Sadness is supposed to be a satirical take down of the upper class wealthy. It starts off with us meeting a couple named Carl and Yaya. Carl is a male model and Yaya is a model and influencer. The two are not at all likable. They prove to be somewhat more likable once they end up on a free yacht cruise where we meet a bunch of even wealthier people who are completely unaware of how anything works. This is up to and including one of the guests demanding the crew clean the sails on a motorized yacht which doesn’t have any sails.

The movie also has some absolutely disgusting gross out humor as people get seasick while eating fine dining in the middle of the cruise. If you watch this, eat your popcorn early because it gets very gross.

The last third of the movie is about a group of the wealthy passengers and a few of the crew getting stranded on an island where the tables are turned as one of the cleaning crew is the only one who has skills to survive on the island.

There are a couple of funny moments in the film and it’s well acted. But, out of all the Oscar contenders for this year, this one is the most skippable.

Maybe I am just not sophisticated enough to get the humor here but I found the film to be boring, overly long, pretentious and pointless. If they started the movie at the point of the shipwreck I might have found more value in it but the slog to get through to that point is not worth the rest of the film.

For all of the rest of the movies on the best picture list I can say I was at least entertained but this one I really struggled with. Even though some of the other films are slow paced, like Banshees of Inisherin, I was at least interested in what was happening. For this film, I couldn’t wait for it to be over and for me to be able to be done with the characters here.

Even the cleaning woman who turns the tables for a while ends up to be just as unlikable as everyone else and I just wanted it to end. I did give this two stars just because it does a fine job with the acting and there was one moment I really enjoyed where a wealthy couple who got rich off of selling grenades is blown up by one of their own grenades. Everything else here does not work for me at all. It’s not my kind of movie. I feel like they just missed the mark here. It was never cutting edge enough to really delve into dark humor and it wasn’t funny enough to be a true comedy. It’s about vapid people being vapid to each other. We get enough of that in the real world.

You may disagree with me and love this movie. It certainly earned a bunch of awards already. But, I don’t think I will be on the same page with you if you’re in that camp.

Awarding-ly yours,

Slick Dungeon

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The Banshees of Inisherin

Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson star in The Banshees of Inisherin

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Hello film fanatics and movie lovers, it’s Slick Dungeon! I’m back to review yet another Oscar nominated film before the big show tomorrow. This time I watched The Banshees of Inisherin. There will be spoilers in this review so if that’s the sort of thing that makes you want to cut off a finger, watch the movie first and come on back to read the review.

The Banshees of Inisherin is a character study drama centering on the lives of Colm Doherty and Pádraic Súilleabháin. The two of them live quiet lives on a small island of the coast of Ireland. It’s a tiny community where few people leave and even fewer people return. It’s the kind of place where everyone knows your business at all times and nothing much changes.

Things do change for Pádraic, however, when he goes to knock on Colm’s door and invite him to the local pub which they do every day. Colm ignores Pádraic completely and just sits in his house. The next day a confused Pádraic asks Colm why he wouldn’t go to the pub and Colm says it’s because Pádraic is boring. This sets off a low level feud between the friends. Pádraic for his part does everything he can to get Colm to be his friend again but Colm does everything he can to avoid Pádraic.

This all takes place with the backdrop of the end of the Irish Civil War. While it’s not touched on too directly both Colm and Pádraic make comments on it and we hear sounds and rumors of fighting far off in the distance. Things become increasingly charged between Colm and Pádraic when Colm threatens to cut off one of his own fingers with a pair of sheep sheers if Pádraic keeps talking to him.

Things escalate from there between the two until the end of the film when both friends have good reason to be quite upset with one another.

The pacing of the film is very slow. It’s got great performances from both Colin Farrel and Brendand Gleeson but I think Farrell shines just a little more here playing a nice guy who has been wronged for no apparent reason. The story winds itself slowly to a pretty interesting finish with Pádraic and Colm having a bit of a strange resolution to their feud. It’s unclear if things will get better for the two in the end or if they’ll be life long enemies who are stuck on a tiny island.

Out of all the Oscar nominees I have seen so far this one seems to rattle around in my brain the most trying to figure out just what the meaning of it was. I’m not sure if that is a compliment or a criticism here but it’s a memorable film for sure.

If you like quiet character drama or slow paced black comedies this movie is for you.

Awarding-ly yours,

Slick Dungeon

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Everything Everywhere All at Once – Movie Review

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Hello film fans! Welcome to Oscar weekend! It’s Slick Dungeon here and I’m back to review another Oscar best picture nominee. This one stars Michelle Yeoh, Stephanie Hsu, Ke Hey Quan and Jamie Lee Curtis. I am, of course, talking about Everything Everywhere All at Once. There will be some spoilers in this review so if that bothers you, do something odd, think of an alternate universe where you have seen the film, and come on back to read the review.

While there are a number of worthy contenders for best picture this year, Everything Everywhere All at Once got the most nominations of any film. It’s also widely considered to be a frontrunner for best picture. The movie centers around Evelyn Quan Wang, a mother who runs a laundromat with her husband Waymond. The couple have a daughter named Joy and Evelyn also takes care of her father Gong Gong. Evelyn’s world is swirling with activity from the needs of her clients to her husband and daughter and to top it all off she is being audited by the IRS.

On what would be an otherwise normal day, Waymond suddenly switches personalities and tells Evelyn she has to help him save every universe in existence from someone named Jobu Tupaki. To do that she has to go into a bit of a trance state and think of a universe where she made a slightly different decision somewhere along the way which leads to her having a new skill. So, for example if she wants to fight, she has to think of a universe where she learned martial arts and she instantly knows it. It’s sort of a comedic version of The Matrix but with a middle-aged Chinese American immigrant as the star instead of Keanu Reeves.

The plot is a bit hard to completely follow but there are tons of moments of comedy and introspection here. There’s everything from a universe where Evelyn is an internationally recognized singer to one where humans evolved with hot dogs for fingers. And there is a ton of action in this movie. This has incredible fight scenes, including the best use of a fanny pack in a movie ever.

Michelle Yeoh and Ke Hey Quan shine as the parents of Joy (Stephanie Hsu). Hsu herself puts in a solid performance as at turns a hero and villain in the film.

For what would be considered a sci-fi comedy action thriller this movie touches on a lot of subjects. It speaks about meaning in the world, about what it is to be kind, about how we relate to one another, and about the generational divide.

It’s not a perfect movie but it gets close. It’s bucket loads of fun and surprisingly emotional.

If you’re a fan of fun sci-fi comedies or if you are a Michelle Yeoh fan, you can’t ask for a better movie than this one. I don’t know if it will win the best picture but if it does it would be deserving of the title.

Awarding-ly yours,

Slick Dungeon

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Avatar: The Way of Water – Movie Review

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Hello movie lovers, it’s me, Slick Dungeon! I’m back to review yet another Oscar contender for 2022, the biggest, most expensive, and bluest film of last year, Avatar: The Way of Water. There will be some spoilers below so if you have not seen the movie, clone yourself, upload your consciousness to a body who has seen the film, and come on back here to read the review.

Avatar: The Way of Water continues the story of Jake Sully from the first film. Jake is living his life with the Navi, now a respected leader, with a loving family. Things won’t stay peaceful, however, as Earth is dying and humans have decided they need to colonize Pandora in order to survive. This puts Jake and his family in danger and at odds with an entire planet of people who have better weapons and technology than the Navi. Jake will have to reprise his role as a leader of military might and join up with a new clan and learn their ways in order to turn back the invaders.

The film looks absolutely fantastic. The visuals are stunning beyond belief. This film should win every technical award under the sun. It’s a spectacle for the eye to see that should be enjoyed in 3D on the largest screen you can find. It’s well worth the experience.

The acting is decent. There are moments where you may find yourself tearing up a little and despite everyone walking around as big blue aliens, emotions do come through well.

However, the story is nothing we haven’t seen before. It doesn’t have anything here you couldn’t predict from watching the first film or even just the preview of this film. While the film gets every point for innovative visuals, it gets none for original story. There are moments where you will forget what the story is even about because your eyes are just wandering around the screen. I’m not saying it’s not worth watching. It’s totally worth watching, just don’t expect anything but your eyes to be surprised. Your heart and mind won’t be.

This is a mediocre story living inside an incredible looking film. It’s good, it’s fun, it’s a theatrical experience you cannot forget. It’s just not that great of a story. It’s unfortunate because if this told a story that was maybe thirty percent more original this could have been one of the best films ever made. Instead it’s the best looking film ever made.

There are times when the cast seems too large and it can be hard to keep track of who is who and what exactly is happening. Also, the big bad guy here is just a sort of recycled big bad guy from the last movie which felt really uninspired. That’s not to take away the achievement of this film. It’s an incredible visual feat that only James Cameron could have pulled off. It just deserved a better story.

If you love sci-fi action and big visual effects with tons of spectacle, this movie will be right up your alley. If you need a great story to go along with all of that you’ll be a little disappointed but you should watch it anyway because it really does look incredible.

Awarding-ly yours,

Slick Dungeon

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The Fabelmans – Movie Review

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Hello movie fans, it’s Slick Dungeon here. I’m back to review another Oscar nominated film. This time I watched The Fabelmans, a semi-autobiographical coming of age film by the one and only Steven Spielberg. There will be some spoilers in this review so if that sort of thing bothers you, grab yourself some popcorn, go watch the movie and come on back to read the review.

The story of The Fabelmans centers around a young Jewish boy named Sammy (Gabriel LaBelle) and his love of film. The movie starts off with a very young Sammy being taken to see his first movie. He’s a bit scared to go but his father patiently explains the technical aspects of film while his mother talks about how magical the experience will be. In the theater, Sammy watches The Greatest Show on Earth. Sammy is instantly enthralled and becomes obsessed with trying to recreate one of the scenes from the film.

It’s clear from early on that Sammy has a genuine gift for filmmaking. He’s encouraged by his mother and his father appreciates what Sammy does. Sammy’s father, however, does think it’s just a phase before Sammy moves onto doing something practical like engineering.

We see Sammy grow up into a teenager and it seems the one constant for him is film. His family has a shift in dynamic as it becomes clear his mother and father are not happily married at this point. Film seems to be a bit of a mixed blessing for Sammy for a while. The Fabelmans move to California and things get even more difficult as Sammy is one of the few Jewish kids at his high school. He finds a bit of romance and he continues making movies.

The film deals with a lot of personal struggle and turmoil. It also explores topics of art and creativity and trying to find some meaning in the world as you grow up. More than any other film I’ve watched so far for the Oscar nominees, this one understands film. Steven Spielberg knows that film is not just about spectacle. It’s about capturing small moments of personal stories to tell us a larger story. Sure, special effects are nice to have, but that’s not the only thing required to tell a good story.

Watching The Fabelmans gives any cinephile the same feeling we had the first time we walked into a theater. It’s downright magical. The difference is that most of us just continue to watch movies while Sammy realizes he needs to make movies. And while this is a fictionalized version, it’s obvious a lot of Steven Spielberg comes through in this character.

So far, out of all the movies I’ve seen for the Oscars this year, this one seems the most deserving to me. It’s able to transport the audience in a way other films haven’t. I will admit I am a little bit biased here as I am a sucker for movies about movies but I think anyone watching this will not be able to deny how skilled a storyteller Spielberg is.

If you love coming of age movies, movies about movies, or films that tell a personal story about art and creativity, this one is a must watch.

Awarding-ly yours,

Slick Dungeon

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Top Gun: Maverick – Movie Review

Miles Teller stars as Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw in Top Gun: Maverick

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Hello moviegoers and film fanatics! Slick Dungeon here and I’m back to review another Oscar nominated film from 2022. This time we’ll be barrel rolling into the high flying sequel to Top Gun, Top Gun: Maverick. Do be warned there will be some spoilers in the review so if that sort of thing makes you want to eject from the aircraft, go watch the movie, come one back here, take off your aviator glasses, and read the review.

Tom Cruise is back in a big way in Top Gun: Maverick. This film continues the story from the original film with a Maverick who is much older, much wiser, and still a Captain. He’s stuck in the position because he tends to be a bit reckless and he feels like being a pilot is who he is.

The film starts off with Maverick testing an aircraft, trying to get it to hit mach 10. He’s doing this against orders but if he hits the mark, he saves the jobs of several people working with him. At least for now. Expecting to be disciplined. Maverick is instead called back to the “Top Gun” flight school where the original movie took place. There’s a nearly impossible mission (see what I did there?) and Maverick is needed to teach a young group of pilots not only how to complete the mission but how to survive it. Maverick also only gets this job because Iceman (Val Kilmer) from the first movie is now an Admiral and knows Maverick can handle the job.

Maverick is given the parameters of the mission and instantly sees all the challenges associated with it. It’s a big task full of the need for lots of cool looking flying stunts to get the job done.

In the group of top notch pilots is Rooster (Miles Teller), the son of Maverick’s now deceased wingman Goose. Rooster is none too pleased to be instructed by Maverick because Maverick delayed Rooster’s entrance into the Naval Academy.

The movie has a ton of action, lots of incredible looking flight stunts, a decent enough story and about as much Tom Cruise as any sane person can handle.

As far as a movie going experience, this was definitely an enjoyable film. A lot of it did feel like a rehash of the original story but there’s enough new here to keep it interesting. Was this one of the better movies released in 2022? Absolutely. Is this worthy of the best picture of 2022? I don’t think so.

I’m not knocking the movie. I really did enjoy it. There were some issues with it. The near impossibility of the need for this mission with these aircraft made it almost not believable but I can put that aside enough to have fun here. Also, the fact that drones are taking over much of manned flight is only barely touched on here and I think there could have been a bit more exploration of that topic. Jennifer Connelly has a decent role as Penny, Maverick’s love interest. But the audience is mostly here for the high flying stunts (or low flying in some cases).

It seemed to me there was a moment in the film where they could have put a nice end to the whole franchise but it would have involved Tom Cruise’s character dying and I think he has just a bit too much ego to let that happen. But again, this is a movie for fun more than anything, not necessarily something that should leave you in tears.

It’s a good movie but it’s not a great movie. I’d definitely argue the original is better and, well, more original, but there is absolutely no denying this film has incredible and exciting action. I don’t regret putting my money down for it but I’m not sure it truly earned its place on the Oscar nominee list.

If you love the first Top Gun film this is required viewing. If you like fast action films, this is a great watch. If you’re looking for a deep plot with lots of surprises, you’re in the wrong place. But if you want a good time, this movie will definitely give you that.

Awarding-ly yours,

Slick Dungeon

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Elvis – Movie Review

Austin Butler stars as Elvis

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Hello film fanatics! Slick Dungeon here and I’m back to review the next of the Oscar contenders for this year. This film is about a musician you may have hear of named Elvis. There will be spoilers in this review so if that sort of thing steps on your blue suede shoes, go watch the movie, come on back and read the review. This one is available on HBO Max and Hulu at the moment.

In the past few years there have been a ton of musician biopics which show a brilliant and struggling artist get a big break through, fall into excess, and either be redeemed or end up dead at a young age. These biopics range from fairly accurate to almost complete fiction. And the formula at this point is kind of old. So, it’s easy to forget Elvis Presley really was one of the first mega famous rock musicians of all time and his influence on music simply cannot be overstated. A decent biopic for him has been overdue for decades. And this one, Elvis, almost hits the mark but just doesn’t quite get there.

Let’s start with the good here. Austin Butler plays a perfect Elvis. I never for one moment didn’t buy him as Elvis. This is an immense acting feat considering just how much Elvis already existed in the world. His face is internationally famous and has been for so long, it would have been easy to phone in a less believable portrayal here.

The subject matter of the life of Elvis is mostly portrayed correctly here although it never feels quite as outlandish and big as the real Elvis did. It also never feels as grounded as the early Elvis did when he was bringing music to teens and allowing them to cut loose for the first time.

Almost all of the performances here are top notch and this has an amazing soundtrack. I’m not just talking about the Elvis songs either. The blues, country, and early rock that influenced Elvis (and that he sometimes outright stole) is prominently portrayed here. There are a couple of jarring moments I don’t think worked where they throw hip hop songs into the middle of 1959 but it could still be argued Elvis had an influence on that music as well.

Here’s the bad. And it pains me to say this but, it’s Tom Hanks. It is certainly true Elvis had a manager who took financial advantage of him and kept him locked into unfulfilling contracts. This was Colonel Tom Parker, most often just referred to as the Colonel. He had a huge influence on promoting Elvis and helped to bring Presley to stardom in the first place. But Hanks’ portrayal of this person misses the mark. The makeup used on Hanks kind of works but not enough to keep it from being distracting. More problematic is the way Hanks portrays Parker. I think if Hanks could have dialed it back from completely unaware cartoon villain by about 50 percent, this performance might have worked. I don’t know who should have played Parker but I do know this performance was just not right given how well the rest of the film works.

The other bad part of the film still has to do with the character of the Colonel but this is not Hanks’ fault. Baz Luhrmann for unknown reasons decided to frame the entire movie not from the point of view of Elvis but from the point of view of the Colonel. It’s like Luhrmann was afraid to actually get close enough to Elvis to give us the whole story. While it does give some interesting context, it’s not the story we want to see. Especially not when Austin Butler is giving such an outstanding performance.

To me this film is frustrating because it gets close to reaching greatness, only to hamper itself from getting there. The moments where the film shines the most are when Elvis is away from the Colonel and is interacting with those whose music inspired him. There are great scenes between Elvis and B.B. King and others in the blues scene of the time. That’s the film I really wanted to see but instead we see scenes of Tom Hanks not believably lying to everyone around him. And then in the next moment everyone around Hanks believes the guy.

Normally I like a good Tom Hanks performance but this one just doesn’t work.

If you love musical biopics there are definitely worse ones out there. If you are an Elvis fan you’ll probably enjoy this. Also, if you want to see an excellent and believable portrayal of Elvis, this works. But outside of that, I can’t recommend this for everyone. It’s a bit of a mess in parts and utterly brilliant in others and it just doesn’t quite match the grandeur the King of Rock ‘n Roll deserves.

Awarding-ly yours,

Slick Dungeon

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All Quiet on the Western Front (2022) – Movie Review

All Quiet on the Western Front (2022)

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Hey movie fans, Slick Dungeon here! It’s Oscar week so I’m going to give my best shot at reviewing all of the best picture Oscar nominees this week. I’m not sure if I will get through all of the movies before Oscar time but I will review all of them. The first one on the list happened to be the 2022 version of All Quiet on the Western Front. Do be warned there will be some mild spoilers in this review so if that sort of thing bothers you, watch the movie first and come back to read the review. This one is available on Netflix at the moment.

All Quiet on the Western Front is a German film adaptation of the novel of the same name from 1929. It follows a group of young men thrown into the horrors of war near the end of World War I. The book, and the film, make strong statements about the futility of war, the carnage it inflicts, and shows how decisions outside of the control of anyone on the ground impacted vast numbers of those who fought.

While this is certainly an ensemble film, we mostly see the story through the eyes of Paul Bäumer. He signs up to fight on the side of the Germans before he’s actually of age to go to war. He and several of his friends are young, idealistic, and inspired by the leaders of their country. But as soon as the group make it out to the front lines it becomes clear none of them were ready for the harsh realities of war.

The film is gory, even for a war film. The movie portrays death in nearly all of the possible forms it could have taken on the front lines, from bullets to mortar shells to death by gas and anything in between, it’s shown here. For most of the movie we get small snippets of each character’s life. Some we learn a little bit about only to see them die seconds later. Others make it further along in the war but as this is war, no one is safe from harm.

We do see a bit of a relationship develop between Paul and a man named Kat who is a bit more experienced in the world than most of the other soldiers around him. This is the strongest attachment Paul forms but even this relationship feels tenuous as both men know either one of them could be gone in an instant. Throughout the movie it seems focusing for even a moment on the future can be fatal. All involved must survive this moment to get to the next and nothing more.

There is also an interesting contrast when we see some of the diplomats and generals who are not on the front lines, making decisions from their safe sanctuaries, knowing men are dying and not caring.

And while the movie is about German soldiers, who are considered the aggressors in the war, it’s absolutely clear, this war was horrible for everyone who fought in it. The viewer feels no less empathy for Paul and his companions than if they fought for the French. And since the film was made by German filmmakers, it has a realistic quality to it which might not come through from any other creators.

This film is utterly brutal and heartbreaking at every turn. I remember reading the novel in High School but it doesn’t sink in the same way as actors portraying these scenes on film can. The book, in my opinion, has a lot of dead space without much happening. There is still some of that in the film, but those moments of stillness and quiet, are jarringly interrupted when action takes over.

This film won’t be for everyone. If you don’t have a fairly strong stomach when it comes to bloody depictions, most definitely sit this one out. If you can’t stand war films, again this is not for you. But, as the book does, this movie really sinks home not only how brutal humans can be to one another but also how meaningless it can all seem.

I don’t know if this is the most Oscar worthy film on the list but it’s one I can easily recommend you should watch. There is some slow pacing which can get annoying but there is enough here to keep one interested and there are some genuinely shocking moments worth sticking around for.

Awarding-ly yours,

Slick Dungeon

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Marvel 616 Review – Journey Into Mystery #92

Journey Into Mystery Issue 92 Writers: Stan Lee, Robert Bernstein, Artist: Joe Sinnott, Cover Art: Jack Kirby, Photo Credit: Marvel

Journey Into Mystery continues to be a showcase for Thor and the other Norse gods who appear in Marvel 616. In this issue we get to see a deeper look at Asgard and the rivalry between Thor and Loki continues. But we have to take the good with the strange here because in the same issue, Thor has to take down several lowlife street thugs after his alter-ego Dr. Donald Blake has operated on one of them. It’s an odd mix of foes who are absolutely no match for Thor and one who can hold his own.

The story starts with a splash page, as most 616 comics do. Loki is scheming how to free himself from his bonds while at the same time weakening Thor. We next get a good look at the Bifrost bridge and see Heimdall guarding it. He doesn’t allow Neri, hand-maiden of Fricka, to cross the bridge until he’s made certain Loki is still chained in place.

Loki overhears the whole thing and he’s still hopping mad about being stuck here, chained to a rock with chains made of Uru metal. This is the same substance Thor’s hammer Mjolnir is made out of.

As Loki goes on swearing his vengeance on Thor, we switch back to Earth in the offices of Dr. Donald Blake. Jane goes out to run a blood sample to a lab. Outside, three common thugs wait. One of them has been shot and they plan to force Dr. Blake to operate, without filing a police report, whether he wants to or not. The crooks pulled off a jewel heist and Blake knows they are on the run. Being a good doctor, of course he operates. He also mentions Thor is helping the police. The thugs don’t believe him until Blake distracts them with the classic look over there technique and changes into Thor. Weirdly, he decides to tape the gangsters onto an operating table, tie his hammer onto the table, and basically chuck his hammer towards the police station. The cops figure out what happened rather quickly and the hammer returns to Thor who changes back into Dr. Blake.

A week goes by and Thor is summoned to… a film set. Yep, you read that right, he’s making a movie. His proceeds, “will go to various charities,” so he’s still doing heroic work. He starts filming a scene or two and Loki sees what he is doing. Thor’s final scene involves him throwing his hammer to cause an avalanche, which he does. The hammer doesn’t stop flying and we find out this is because… well because Loki has used his sorcery to… make the metal in his chains magnetic and attract the hammer to them. So, I guess Loki is kind of like Magneto for a minute here? It doesn’t make a lot of sense but it does break Loki free.

To press his advantage, Loki lures Thor to Asgard. Loki figures Thor knows Earth pretty well but Loki might gain advantage in his home. I suppose Loki has forgotten Thor is no stranger to Asgard but we’ll go with it. Thor asks Odin to transport him to Asgard, which he does. Conveniently, time stops on Earth when Odin is around and in Asgard Thor can’t lose his powers even without his hammer. So, we don’t have to follow the established rule that Thor can’t be away from his hammer for more than 60 seconds.

Loki also convinces the council of gods to say they’re too busy to help Thor find his hammer. Loki sends some killer trees after Thor but Thor makes a hammer out of wood and defeats them. Thor figures Loki must be up to something and goes to check on him. Loki turns some clouds into dragons to attack Thor. This time Thor makes a hammer out of stone. That hammer also flies to where Loki had been chained. There he finds Mjolnir. The gods Odin, Heimdall, and Fricka show up and take Loki prisoner again.

Thor heads on back to Earth and we get a silly scene where Dr. Blake is testing someone’s reflexes with a rubber mallet. Jane Foster reassures the patient that, “Dr. Blake is very experienced in using a mallet!!” to which Blake thinks, “Jane, honey… you don’t know the half of it!”

While this story is a bit of an odd mix, it does drive the larger story forward just a bit. We get more of Asgard and more of Loki and this is vital to the upcoming creation of the Avengers. In time, a lot of the sillier stuff, including Thor fighting common street thugs will fade away but it’s still going to be a while before we get there.

Next up on the reading list, we’ll be checking in on Reed and company in The Fantastic Four #14!